Krazy Things Kids Say

Me: So what is the meter used to measure?
 Student: Distance
 Me: And what is the liter used to measure?
 Student: volume
 Me: and what is the gram used to measure?

 Student: Weed?

Teacher Merit Pay

I love students who choose "B" on a multiple choice question where the choices are F, G, H, and J....LOL....headin' straight to medical school, huh? Yes, please pay me according to how students who don't give a &*@# do on their test.

So How do You Write a Blog Post....

when you want to quit teaching? When you want to just give up? When you can't tolerate another day of enabling or incompetence? When you fight the urge to get up, in the middle of class, and walk out never to return? I have a lot to say...but to whom? It doesn't matter to anyone. Not the students, not the parents, and it sure as hell doesn't matter to administrators/politicians. Quite frankly, it becomes more and more obvious each day, they just aren't interested in real, meaningful reform

Education is Broken (Part II, or, Where the Teachers at?!))

In an earlier post, I referenced the overall purpose of this blog: "The purpose of 'Alt_Education,' is to examine education as a profession and approach the many issues in education from a logical, rational point of view; from the perspective of an everyday teacher in the trenches (read as: the opposite of what the Ivory Tower education bureaucrats do)" And while I have written numerous posts on the frustrations that a plain ol' regular teacher experiences from within the system, the issue of the aforementioned ivory tower education bureaucrat experts should be addressed, too. After all, shouldn't we listen to experts? When the President wants military advice, he seeks the wisdom of military leaders; men and women who have experienced the stresses and strains of combat. When one wishes to get medical advice, I should hope that they consult with medical professionals. Again, it seems logical....rational. Unfortunately, one of the main reasons that our education system cannot seem to find its way, is because that the same common sense approach that I have applied to the previous scenarios is not an approach employed by the Education and Workforce Committee. While at the Education and Workforce Committee website, please click on each member's name, and read about their extensive experience in K-12 public/private school teach...ing...no, actually wait a minute. Don't do that. I must apologize for I'm sure my readers are very busy people. Let me save you some time....wait for it....Not ONE of the 23 members of this committee has EVER been in a K-12 classroom (well, aside from a photo op, I'm sure). Lawyers? Got those! Doctors? There are a couple of them, too. Heck, this committee even has a former helicopter pilot and a Marine artillery officer! Pretty cool, huh? But no teachers. So, I propose that Washington continue this line of reasoning in ALL of their committees, proceedings, and affairs. Let's stack Homeland Security and the Joint Chiefs of Staff with peace activists from UC Berkeley. Let's put herbal shamen/medicine men/voodoo/faith healers on the medical and healthcare subcommittees. Or, how about filling up the chairs in the Senates Special Committee on Aging with teenagers? Wait, I know! This is the one! Perhaps the House Committee on Intelligence should be appointed with people who aren't actually very intelligent. Actually, I think that last one has been done. If you've ever wondered, "Why can't we seem to fix our schools," this might be a good place to start. Contact your Congress person and ask, "Why are the power brokers, the decision makers, the politicians, the ones who have never seen the teacher side of a classroom, in charge of education policy?"

Progress Check for Jason Glass, Iowa State Director of Education

Two years ago, I posted a number of profiles for new politicians, errrr, I mean "educators," who had been appointed as the education leader in their states. Most of these people, like infamous Washington D.C. Superintendent Michelle Rhee (3 years of teaching experience), have little, if any, actual classroom experience. This is the main factor in why they cannot seem to solve the most obvious of problems in education. What seems as obvious as the roundness of the moon to people in the classroom, eludes these people and their doctorate degrees. So how has Mr., excuse me, Doctor, Glass been doing? Recall that he came into office so that he could bring his "experience to bear on how teachers in Iowa are evaluated and paid." Well, kind reader, I'll let you examine this article and sound off in the comments below

My Annual Teaching Evaluation

I would like to take up a little blog space with a weekly feature examining the teaching evaluation process. Last week was my annual teaching evaluation. Every year I look forward to the event as it my chance to showcase what I do everyday. As a level III master teacher in New Mexico, I am required to have the instructional quality of my teaching practices scrutinized only once per year. As much as I harp on the fact that the number one factor in a students learning is parental involvement studies also show (most famously a study by Stanford professor Linda Darling-Hammond) that the number one factor AT SCHOOL is teacher effectiveness, and I agree. The evaluation process is intended to ensure that the school side of things are taking care of business. However, I find most of the evaluation process ineffective, and here's why. To begin with, let's examine the process of scheduling an administrator to come into a classroom and observe ones teaching. At my school, as in many others I suspect, the teacher signs up for a specific date, and is given weeks and weeks of advanced notice and coaching on lesson plans, pedagogy development, hands-on activity practice, etc. In other words, it is quite common for a worksheet King or Queen (that's school speak for crappy teacher) to schedule a very innovative Dog and Pony Show/lesson once or twice per year (depending upon ones level of licensure). After their evaluation, in which the administrator applauds what a wonderful teacher/King/Queen they are, many (most) ineffective teachers devolve back into the instructional path of least resistance, from whence they came: worksheets, word finds, crossword puzzles, and other canned curriculum resources that result in very little learning. These are the ineffective teachers who believe that giving assignments, talking for 45 minutes, and teaching/learning are the same thing. Incredulously, they exclaim, "What? How in the world did you fail that test? I mean, I talked every day and you took notes...how could learning not have occurred??" Then, they roll their eyes and just can't believe how "kids are these days." Instead, I find the idea of scheduling my evaluation to be disingenuous. It is not fair for the teacher, the process, or the students who must continue to have these poor teachers. I have instructed my administrator to come in whenever they wish (they still insist that I sign up, though), and do a "pop" eval. I've told them to bring guests from around the district (politicians, parents, superintendents) and to bring cameras and record my teaching. After all, shouldn't I be on my "A" game everyday, and not just as scheduled? Shouldn't every lesson included learning standards and objectives? Obviously, I am not on my "A" game everyday, but neither is any human being. I think that is normal in any career. I don't think it is unreasonable. I don't think it is anything to fear. Let me know what you think in the comments section.

Preach on Sister!

Anyone with more than three years of teaching experience, I think, would not find this as a big surprise. While the teacher may be the biggest factor in the classroom, out of the classroom the student and parents are the biggest factor.
Society in general would say, "You mean, if you refuse to study, refuse to complete assignments, labs, and projects, you can't just magically be MADE smart by the teacher? Really?"

Ummm...yes...Really.