A Light Reprieve from the Grind of Teaching

Alt_Edukation is a serious blog, because American education is in serious trouble. But it doesn't mean that sometimes we can't look at things lightheartedly. I usually don't post things like this, but today I really needed a break from the serious:

You Might Be a Schoolteacher if...

  

...you have no time for a life from August to June.

...you want to punch the next person who says, "Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers free!"

...when out in public you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.

...you refer to adults as "boys and girls."

...you encourage your spouse by telling them they are a "good helper."

...you've ever had your profession criticized by someone who would never dream of doing your job.

...meeting a child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

...you believe "extremely annoying" should have its own box on the report card.

...you know hundred good reasons for being late.

But...But...it's *sniffle* for the children

Politicians, and school administrators like to wipe away a tear, and, with lips trembling say "it's for the children," especially during election years. But as every good investigator knows, to see where ones priorities really lie, just follow the money and not their words.
It seems every year a group of Americans, and it's probably even the same group, flies over to the same school in Finland and asks, "So what are you guys doing that we are not?"
I especially enjoy the "oh-not-these-guys-again" look on the faces of the Finns. Yeah, ummm...didn't we already tell you for the last three years (1) pay teachers well, treat them like and trust them to be professionals, (2) stop testing every other week, and (3) attract the top, not bottom, 10% of your college graduates and give them top notch training to be successful in the classroom (see step 1 above...again)?
And so, the American education ambassadors gleefully catch their flight, excited about the news with which they shall usher in a golden age, a renaissance, of education in America. And then, suddenly, perhaps they travel through some Bermuda Triangle-like memory eraser. Their planes land, they disembark, and run to Washington to cut all education spending and introduce marketplace competition into public schools. Vouchers, "research" driven curriculum, charter schools, the use of tests to measure teachers; all a philosophy that the Finns watch from overseas and promptly shake their heads in disbelief. What's the Finnish word for, *facepalm*?

Some 'Cyber Schools' Falling Short

Cyberschool isn't for everyone. I've taken online courses, and while I don't hate them, I much prefer the face-to-face time in a classroom. NPR recently featured a story highlighting K12 . In case you didn't already know, K12 is "the number one choice in K-12 online education programs in America." Apparently, critics see many "irregularities" in their test scores as opposed to the wonderous progress they claim they can make. Administrators and politicians, who looked upon K12 as yet another magic bullet, are disappointed that K12 didn't just fix everything with a wave of their wand. But how are these people surprised?
Here's my personal experience, one that is not too uncommon, say, three to four times a year: A student comes to my class, and doesn't do the assignments, doesn't study, doesn't follow the rules, causes problems, doesn't seek additional after-school tutoring, and on and on and on. Of course during the parent/teacher conference, this is a result of my poor teaching and my over all poor performance as a decent human being in general (I'm mean, I yell, I spit in their faces and kick them in the groin when they try to turn in assignments, and other absurdities.)
The student is then transferred to the other 8th grade science teacher and promptly doesn't do the assignments, doesn't study, doesn't follow the rules, causes problems, doesn't seek additional after-school tutoring, and on and on and on.
"Well," snorts the parent, "It's obvious that you all hate my poor baby. I'm going to home school him/her'" and the parent walks up to the guidance counselor and signs them out of school.
To successfully complete an online course, one needs certain skills and attitudes. Can you work independently? Can you ask questions and be persistent until you find out the information you need? Can you meet a deadline?
Now, think back to our student and parent of the year duo. Do they sound like they possess those kinds of skills? The short answer is, of course, no, and THAT is why they don't succeed IN school or OUT. A student who refuses to work with a teacher lording over them sure as hell isn't going to work while mom is out of the house from 8am-5pm.
And so, inevitably the parent returns the student to us the following new school year (even more behind than ever), complete with how the Cyberschools were "out to get her." Perhaps next time I might just explain to her, "Ma'am, maybe K12 Cyberschools just hates your poor baby....like the rest of us."

Finally! Merit pay for teachers in New Mexico!

As we all know, teachers do what they do because of the opportunities they have to strike it rich. Much like the "talent" on Wall Street, you remember them? You know, the ones who nose-dived our entire economy? Anyway, much like them the more financial incentives there are for teachers, the more likely there will be superior testing results.
After all, if you don't pay someone top dollar, they just won't work for you. For example, the executives at Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Bear Stearns, and Lehman Brothers, all were acting upon financial incentives to ensure that their companies were the cream of the crop. Let's look at Bear Stearns for example. They were in the middle of the financial crisis, but as a result of their financial incentives, they came out of the crisis with....wait, no...ummmm...ok...forget about Bear Stearns. So, what was I saying? Oh yes, financial incentives equal better results. Okay, so, uhhh, take Lehman Brothers...yes, Lehman Brothers! Because they were paid according to their performance, during the financial crisis they were....wait...where is Lehman Brothers? They still exist, right? No? Huh...weird. Ok, well forget about all of that, because regardless of what happens on the free market stage of Wall Street, it will surely work in public schools.
And even if it doesn't, or even if there is NO evidence for the effectiveness of merit pay, the state of New Mexico announced today that they are going to try it.
Again, we have MORE reform, based on old ideas with no evidence, that address an issue that is not a problem. Here's an idea? Why not try "student merit pay?" After all, aren't they the ones who have to study? Don't they have to complete the assignments?
Also, why don't we apply this idea to other areas? Shouldn't we give our soldiers merit pay? If so, wouldn't we get more kills per bullet? I mean, sure they are doing a great job of killing terrorists, but imagine how much better our results would be if they were paid PER terrorist killed? Or, let's have congress on board with this? The current approval rating for Congress is about 15%. If we are going to base teacher pay on approval rating (from parents and administrators) along with test scores, shouldn't we also do the same with other public employees? Especially those who pass laws that impact the same teachers? I think so. That means, with a current salary of $174,000 and an approval rating of 15%, our representatives SHOULD be receiving $26,100 per year. Based on what I'VE seen concerning their competence, that's still a bit high.

A Florida Student Speaks Truth to Power

(reprinted from Dianeravitch.net) I am a high school student who attends a public school in Seminole County and I applaud you for this blog. This past year especially I have felt as if every other second I’m being force-fed a meaningless statistic about how wonderful the education is in Florida and how we are excelling by leaps and bounds, while I watch teachers and students alike suffer the consequences of these careless political decisions. Our school’s media center is also a “Hub for Technology” computer lab to be used by teachers for testing, and 124 out of the 180 school days it is being used for just that – PERT, EOC, FCAT, AP, SAT, ACT, semester exams – when are teachers supposed to have the time to teach? We worry about budget cuts (to an already laughable budget), but while faculty and staff are being laid off and programs cut, the money is being handed away to test makers. These tests give us meaningless figures to show everyone we can that we’re “progressing” but personally I believe we are regressing. And the evaluation systems for both teachers AND students are so ridiculous, it’s as if the public school system is a parody of itself. The pressure a teacher is put under to have all of the correct phrases, learning goals, and “percentile gain” methods on display in their classrooms; I honestly don’t know how they manage to do it. Stopping to have every high school student hold up a hand gesture and gauge their understanding on a lesson every time one is taught, just because these Marzano techniques were highly effective in ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS is, to me, insane. I don’t even know what to do about any of this either aside from hope that someone with power, someone with common sense, someone with a love of EDUCATION, realizes what is going on and decides to take action. Because seeing my teachers crumpling under stress due to the greed of heartless politicians is something that I can hardly stomach.

US Students Rocking the AP Exams

Finally, a little good news. Our top students are knocking the AP exams out of the park. As they should. This is a sharp bunch. Unlike their peers, they watch the news, they know from conversations with their parents that their education is under assault. All eyes are watching them, AND their teachers, to see if they'll be the hero or the zero. But I'm actually not that surprised. As a teacher, I see this everyday. The "honors" kids, to whom I teach chemistry and physics, smirk and shake their heads incredulously at the "other" classes that can't even remember how to calculate D=m/v..."Mr. V, now which one get's divided by which one again? The top or the bottom number?" *sigh* *facepalm* *sigh again* So, why do AP kids seem to just "get it?" As a science teacher, I always ask, "What's the variable?" Current reformists/politicians would like for you to believe that these children MUST have had the best teachers EVERY year which is why they are the BEST students. Just ask an administrator; there is no factor other than instructional quality, which is why all students would be Rhodes Scholars if we could just get these deadbeat teachers to do their damn job! I suppose that's one way to look at it. In fact, it IS the way they currently look at it. But what about this? In my honors class I have two children that come from doctor families, I have one child who is the daughter of the county assistant DA, another who is the son of an engineer at White Sands Missile Range, and a few who are the children of Air Force officers. What's the variable? Sit in a parent/teacher conference with these parents and you'll see the variable very quickly. Engaged, supportive parents who know the value of an education. Couple that WITH superb teaching and you get results like those seen in the aforementioned article. But great teaching without parent support, and parent support without great teaching? Forget it. Education- it's a team sport. Come on parents...let's get on the field...together

You just want to blame someone else!

I hear this charge often. It's always the same old line, "Oh you teachers....you just want to point fingers and make it be someone else's fault." Well, but if it is someone else's fault, or if they are at least partially responsible, then....shouldn't we? Isn't it our duty to say, "Hey...wait a minute. You know, all of this is not the result of just my actions." I don't see how that is an attempt to "shift blame." When I think of people who try to "shift blame," I think of unwarranted actions in which there really is no one else to blame. For example, if I am out in a row boat, and my dumb ass grabs a gun and tries to move it out of my way and it goes off, then I, and only I, am to blame for the water that is now rushing in through the hole in the bottom of my boat. But, if in that same row boat is another person, and they move the gun and it goes off, then it is my fault for telling him to grab the gun, and it is also his fault for f***ing up and putting a hole in my damn boat! That's not "shifting blame,"....that's what's known as "describing what actually happened." So, when I tell people, "Look...it really is quite disturbing, but there is an entirely generational shift of students who stand and say, 'I ain't gonna do it and you can't make me!" When I say that, I am not trying to "shift blame." I am stating a matter of fact. Here is a recent occurrence whereupon I was confronted by some especially poor scores on an assessment. I was puzzled. I stated clear learning objectives based on state standards. I taught these objectives to students using different learning styles, media, and group activities. They took traditional notes, they made vocabulary "boxes" for each main word of the chapter. We generated our own hypotheses in a hands-on lab opportunity....and on and on and on. Trust me, I'm no worksheet king or queen. I thought, as I often do, "What did I do wrong?" I think any good teacher has that as his first thought. So, since it seemed as though I had done at least a decent job of teaching (I even asked the kids, "Be honest...really...is it me??") I polled the students by having them anonymously writing on a post-it, the reasons why they received the grade they did. I gave the students two choices since they all said it wasn't me, they liked the lesson, it was fun, etc. Their two choices were, as you see below: did you need more teaching? Explaining? Or....did you just fail to properly study/prepare? The question was, "I got the grade I got because __________" You see the results....now go out and reform that. Base teacher merit pay on that.